I was thinking about the different holidays and 2 really stand out that can give a good outlook on someone on the spectrum.
1. 4th of July. This day we were going to keep it simple. A kid parade in our town with our best friends. As you can see in the picture Matthew wanted to stay with us. Doesn't he look so excited. He could not ride a bike well and did not want to walk so he watched until the big boys convinced him to join them for the end of the parade. After the parade he went on to the bounce houses and had so much fun. When it was time to go he decided he was ready to do the parade on his bike. The problem was (1)the parade was over and (2)I did not bring his bike (mom fail right there). At that time Matthew was really struggling with choices and accepting the decisions he made. He could not grasp the concept we were done and had to go home. The meltdown began when it was time to get in the car. We must have been a sight having 7 people jump in a suburban and close the doors to block out some of the screams. Matthew had a meltdown all the way home and for awhile once we got him out of the car. Both Eric and I ended up sitting in front of doors at the house to keep Matthew from running out of the house. After awhile Eric ended up putting Matthew back in the car with Joshua and those three went back to the parade route. They walked one block with Matthew on his bike and all was right in the world. Was this giving in? I used to ask myself that question a lot but then I entered Matthew's world. We were quickly learning the line between spoiling Matthew, giving into his meltdowns, and knowing when we needed to help him. This time we knew he could not move on with his day until all was right in Matthew's world.
2. Christmas, more specifically the one Christmas that I made the ladies in my family cry. I know, great right. We had my brother, SIL, and nieces in town. We went to my parents house for Christmas lunch. All of my other siblings and their families were there too. Matthew was enjoying himself but you could tell it was getting too much. Then it happened, a meltdown in front of the family. Matthew tends to keep his meltdowns for when he is home or just with us. He never had one in front of the family. Oh boy, for 30 minutes this kid questioned when he was going to see Santa. We had told him Santa would come on the 25th, never thinking we needed to further explain that it would be while he was sleeping and he would never see him. He wanted to see Santa! This was just what set him off. The questions, the tears, the screams, the meltdown. The ladies in the family felt helpless as Eric and I tried to calm him down. They started to cry and had to leave the room. I could tell them about the meltdowns but this was the first time they experienced one. We ended up doing the grab and go with Matthew. Eric picked him up, I was grabbing all the stuff. The big boys jumped right into action. Caleb, Joshua, and Eric all had to work together to buckle him in the seat. Joshua rode home with Eric in the back seat to make sure Matthew did not take off his seatbelt. I stayed behind with everyone else to gather the rest of our things. Matthew continued his meltdown all the way home (45 minute drive). As soon as he was home and in his space he was good. We say Matthew is like a coke can, all the changes that day was like we were shaking that coke can until it exploded.
Holidays can always be a challenge for kids but holidays with a child on the spectrum is on another level. We spend so much time preparing for the day, talking about what to expect. What the schedule will be. We always take two cars so one person can bring Matthew on home if it is too much.
We do use these days to challenge Matthew. On Easter he wanted to know when our family was coming over and when they would leave. We gave him the time we should expect them however we told him we did not know when they would leave. I knew this bothered him and he was learning to adapt with it. He asked (A LOT) about the time frame. When they were running late more questions came up. The pacing in the house, they comments that they should have been here by now, they said 11:30 why did they not walk in the door at 11:30. The concept of running late or being stuck in church traffic leaving the parking lot was too much for him to understand. He is very black and white, they said 11:30 so they need to be here then. (We deal a lot with this at school too, his teachers know not to mess with Matthew's schedule). We again went over the schedule for when they were here. He would talk through them being late and not knowing what time they would leave. This showed us growth in how he is learning to handle things. Holidays will always be another therapy session for Matthew.
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