Do you ever have just one of those
feelings? You know the one that makes you stop and really think? I remember the
exact moment it hit me, I had just finished with L’s Boosterthon at school and
was helping his 1st grade teacher and room mom clean the classroom.
We were having a talk and I was telling them about a dream I had the night
before. They were amazed I could remember it in such detail. Then it hit me, the
only time I have these types of dreams is when I am pregnant. No, could not be
that. I was heading to the store and while I was there I picked up the
cheapest pregnancy test, I mean why buy the name brand one right? Well I took
it and did not have to wait the 3 minutes it clearly showed the 2 lines. First
shock came over then I thought this cheap store brand test, I better go get a
real one. So back to the store I went and picked up the 2 pack of EPT. I took one of the EPT’s and it was without a
doubt the plus sign. Still not convinced I went ahead and took the other one. I
sat there on the hardwood floor forever staring at these three tests. WOW! Eric
and I were not trying for this, we did not have any of those oops moments, this
was all God’s timings. What to do now. I
knew I needed to pick myself up off the floor and get ready for the afternoon
carpool but I needed to tell someone. Eric was working at the office that day
and figured I should not give him that type of surprise over the phone so
naturally I called someone who had just been through the same thing. The conversation sticks in my head so clearly
along with the scream that came from the other end of the line. But mostly it
was the excitement in her voice that I needed to hear! I needed to hear it will
be alright, I needed to hear we just went through it too, I needed to hear that
God is great and this little one is going to fit in perfectly with our family.
Two hours went by and it was time to head
off to pick up the boys. I decided I would tell Eric as soon as he came in the
door so I made a quick run by Walmart and picked up a little onesie along with
fabric paint. While waiting I painted Little Bratager July 2012. And then I sat
in carpool line in shock. Yes shock will be used a lot over the next few
weeks/months!
The longer I sat there the more it was
hitting. Amy you ARE pregnant and you are starting all over again. The tears
started. Not because I was not happy, it was tears of being scared. My body had
changed a lot could I handle this pregnancy? Did I really have 2 Diet Cokes and
Excedrin yesterday? Is that going to hurt the baby? The poor lady next to me wanted to get out of
her car but I waved her off. I held my phone up like I was on it. She is
probably thinking crazy mom alert! It was time for a good talk with God.
Seriously, is this really what you want for our family! You do know we gave
away EVERYTHING! You do know I am going to be one of those older moms who has
one in kindergarten and one in college. We had a nice long chat J I pulled myself
together long enough to get the boys to their first soccer drop off and I could
not hold it in (sorry Eric) I just had to tell someone in person!! And out came
another scream!! Yes, I showed her a picture of all 3 tests just so she would
believe me!! That is when the hug came
and more tears flowed. Still tears of being scared to death on how much things
will change but also tears of excitement, tears of joy!
Off to the last soccer practice of the day
and Eric headed to a soccer sale an hour away after work. I could not believe I
had this incredible news to tell him and he would not be home for another 4
hours! I was visiting with 3 of the moms from C’s age when I shared the news
with them. Maybe if I said it out loud I will start to believe it myself. More screams, more tears, more hugs, more
reassurance that this is the best news! By this time of the day I was laughing
hysterical, I was thinking ok, if I could just tell Eric it will really be true!
Eric finally made it home that night at
11:10. I told Eric I went shopping today too and mine is going to cost more
then what he spent at the soccer sale (for those who have been totally get
this!) He opened the onesie and read it, he had this look, not of shock but ok lets
do this. I looked at him and said honey you do get we are having A BABY. And he
said yes, this is great! So calm, so excited, so happy, this is just what I
needed……..
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